Forced reminiscence

I have had this recurring experience for most of my life, and this week I actually decided to look at the interwebs to see if I could find out anything about it. If you would like to skip the boring stuff, I promise a hilarious link at the end.

Here's what happens: I will be in any sort of normal situation--at work, at home, in the car--and I get the feeling of deja vu that most people have had in their lives. It is not just the feeling of recognition, or "I've been here before," but more like experiencing a dream I have had in the past, unfolding now before my eyes. Never anything grandiose; just the speech, words, colors, placement of objects, and movements of people are exactly like they were in the dream, even though the dream could have been years before. This can last up to 30 seconds or a minute, and it is horrible.

Not only do I feel strange because I know what is going to happen and what people will say, I feel nauseated and paralyzed. I want to stop the experience by doing something that is NOT in the script, but it is as if I have to fulfill the sequence and participate in what is "supposed" to happen. It really is pretty awful, and I most often become physically ill afterwards and have to throw up. (Lovely...I know.)

It happened again this week, while I was home by myself. I would guess it probably happens a few times a year, since I was a kid, and sometimes it will happen a few times in the same month (just for any neurologists who happen to read this). Through some googling, I did find a few other people who seem to experience the roughly the same thing, and famed neurologist, Oliver Sachs, talks about it in relation to his research on migraine sufferers. It appears to be a type of migraine aura some refer to as forced reminiscence. It is also sometimes connencted with some types of epileptic seizure. However, I rarely get headaches, and do not get a migraine after this happens.

Anyway, kind of interesting to see that I am not alone, and that I am not actually psychic (dangit!). Not that I really thought I was. I am just concerned that this is some sort of indicator of a weird neurological disorder that I should get checked out. What would you do? Should I consult the medical experts?

LOLing toward spring

These past two weeks have been quite the weather sampler plate. Since warm and sunny is only one weather recipe, there are many, many others which are more depressing, including cold drizzle, pea-soup fog, and life-inhibiting blizzard. Spring cannot come soon enough for me.

In the meantime, our only hope is to "make our own sunshine inside," in the words of my elementary school principal. Here are just a couple recent LOLs to make the day a little brighter.

Walrus dancing to "Smooth Criminal"

A new take on Garfield. This made me laugh so hard.

The Hater. Funny in a very sardonic way.

Just because you don't know the answer, it doesn't mean there isn't one.

So, look: I don't care what side of the political fence you are on (and why is there a fence?), but global warming has been proven to be occurring by the worldwide scientific community. How much is anthropogenic remains to be seen. As I work for a publication whose job it is to report on said research, I am the lucky recipient of such thoughtful and well-researched rebuttals as the following. This was in response to a research report that SUV's do indeed pollute more than other types of cars. (author's spelling and grammar preserved):

So, SUVs pollute more. If you took the same engine and put it into a "car", would they pollute less? SUVs are an industry term designed to sell cars. Internal combustion engines are in cars, trucks, mini-vans, and SUVs. How can an SUV have more toxic pollutants when all an SUV is is body style over a frame? This is the type of liberal, "I hate America" non-sense that is ruining this country. To what end does a study like this lead? So you say it pollutes more - so what. Is your solution to return to an agrarian society or one where we ride bikes everywhere?

Why do liberals have such a hard time enjoying life? Why do they want all of us to suffer? Consumers have spoken - we want large vehicles. It is simple, if you do not want to drive one, don't. Stop crying that I do. While you are in your Yugo or Chevette, pray you are of sufficient driving skills to avoid a run-in with my luxurious, spacious, Suburban.

Get a life and stop trying to ruin everyone elses!

I asked guest blogger, Carl Arbegast to weigh in:

I would be happy to respond to the facts that this individual has presented. Oh. Wait. He didn't really present any.

[returns head to sand]

For reference:
Curb weight of a 2007 Chevy Suburban: 6,385 lbs.
Curb weight of a 1987 Chevy Chevette: 2,137 lbs.

A Chevette and a Yugo? Really? Clearly this person hasn't left his home since the late 80s, so kudos for him on all the energy he's saving by not driving since he obviously doesn't get out very much.

Explain to him that when the Earth's magnetic poles reverse due to the cosmic alignment on December 21st, 2012 as predicted by the Mayans, I Ching, Merlin, Internet Web-bots, and coded messages in the Bible, that he'll wish he had a better bike.

Thanks, Carl. Well put.

"And you can dance (...dance...dance). For inspiration."

I have been doing surprisingly well for January. Usually, the gray weather combined with post-holiday letdown combined with my natural melancholy leave me feeling like Artax in the Swamp of Sadness (oh man, that still makes me sob.) However, having solved several of my physical health issues and making some general life improvements, I have actually been [tiny gasp] joyful!

I have been inspired by several things in the past few days and weeks. I'll start writing about them, and may have to finish tomorrow.

1. Arcade Fire. Yes, their music and specifically their live performances have been reviewed to death, but most of it is not hype. I got to see them live last fall, with LCD Soundsystem, and every aspect of this band is original, energetic, literate, and worth checking out. I consider myself pretty knowledgable about music, both the pop culture and the theory aspects, but yesterday I was listening to Neon Bible in the car and I realized something. I sometimes listen to songs and albums for years and often have every word memorized, but a lot of times I don't actually think about and analyze lyrics, as one might another form of literature. When I finally began really listening, Win Butler's words hold up.

Maybe this is why some people just don't "get" artists like Dylan, Neil Young, etc. They are more about the expression and wordcraft than the pleasingness of the performance. Just a theory.

Anyway, here's a fun video of them in an elevator:





Gotta go, but here's a preview for more inspiring things: Supernanny, Eat, Pray, Love, and Once!


Edited to add: Whoa whoa whoa. I forgot to mention my one major problem with Arcade Fire, and that is probably because I consider this aspect so unpleasant that I consider it entirely separate from their work. Those would be the songs written by/featuring Win's wife, Régine Chassagne on vocals. Hoo, boy; those are terrible. She sounds like when Spike Jonez imitated a little kid, only more irritating and screechy.

My grown-up Christmas list

I have had a lot of lows and highs since last I posted, but I don't want this space to be a catalogue of my life events per se. If I know you personally, and you want to know more, send me a message.

Amy Grant's grown-up Christmas list asks for "No more lives torn apart, and wars would never start, and time would heal all hearts. Everyone would have a friend, and right would always win, and love would never end."

Inspired by this song, I thought I would fill out my own list. (Or, if Santa works really fast, my birthday is tomorrow. Link to Amazon wishlist is in right-navigation.)

1. Anti-depressant medication which is effective but doesn't give me intolerable daily nausea and headaches.

2. For my brother to reconcile with my mom.

3. A big helping of patience, respect, foresight, and insight for working self and my coworkers. A raise wouldn't hurt either.

4. For the Curtapillar to finally receive what he has earned at his job.

5. Safety for my cousin and his unit when they are deployed to Iraq.

6. Retesting for all drivers every 10 years and elimination of road rage.

7. A Wii. (So I'm still a little shallow, okay?)

More to come... going to see "It's a Wonderful Life" on the big screen!

Font of blessings

No, not a sacred typeface; but the antiquated word for fountain (font). I have been busy, but a very good busy. Thinking of things to post about, and how to express them best. I am surprised and somewhat humbled by all of the people who end up here from random searches or links...stop by the comments and say hello!

Reasons why the 21st Century is making you miserable.

As my genious brother pointed out, cracked.com seems to offer better editorial commentary nowadays than most mainstream media sources. Before you go on, please read this:
7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable

Yes! That is some good stuff. I can relate to this, especially as a person who has spent the majority of the last year or so being inside, restricted by my physical and mental health.

The funny thing is, the people I see and talk to the most now were all people I first met online in one way or another. Sometimes the transition to being IRL friends is a little weird, and doesn't always work like you hope it will, but often, if is a good exercise in overcoming awkwardness, and being as close to your true self as possible.

That being said, I am increasingly frustrated by finding myself with virtual or even phone pals who seem to have no motivation to actually hang out with me. I don't think I am being obnoxious or anything, because said people continue to communicate with me. But find every reason not to spend physical time in my presence. Granted, I am hideously disfigured...(JK--not anymore).

O, anonymous internets! I am not unaware of the irony of writing about this in a blog read by...who in the heck knows?